Confrontation, conflict, avoidance, regression,
passive nature, repression, passive aggression.
Let time pass, blow over, fade.
Just laugh and move forward, anxieties made.
Whenever I see her I want to ask why she's such a bitch.
This woman is causing a wound I must itch.
Familiar by name but not by the soul.
I think it is time to crawl out of my hole.
Ask her to speak what she already shows.
Show her I mean it by withholding low blows.
We may emerge much closer than now,
but I suspect she will only prove she's a cow.
Take swings at my character,
pinch at my pride.
There is nothing she hasn't already implied.
So soon we will box,
a sight it will be,
though I already know
I will come out of this me.
Maybe there will be a surprise up her sleeve.
A spark of humanity,
capacity to bleed.
Perhaps its my head that is causing the scuff.
Maybe she's not actually really that tough.
Paranoia waters the seeds of my worry.
I better resolve this,
with stealth and with hurry,
before it grows to uncontrollable rage.
Let me emerge from this, seasoned sage.
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I have my own card I have been hiding away, not ready to write that letter either.
Good luck to you on your face-to-face. It will be tough, but you will come out of it so much stronger. Hopefully this other person will surprise you. If not, they are no longer worth your worry.
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Love your blog - and your honesty (with yourself in particular) is something I have been trying for some time to find within myself. See, I think things must develop in a certain order (for me, anyway). Self acceptance may or may not come first...but self-reflective honesty is imperative. I know what's what, but haven't even come close to addressing it, which makes me even farther from ploughing through it.
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